


My Doll

by yauksiei



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Dolls, Eventual Het, Het and Slash, Multi, Nutcrackers, Object to Life, Vibrator
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-01-02
Updated: 2012-01-13
Packaged: 2017-10-28 17:24:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/310270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yauksiei/pseuds/yauksiei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danneel was given to Jensen on his birthday by a man named Misha. It turns out that this porcelain doll is one of many. She also finds out that not only is Jensen’s hobby making dolls and nutcrackers, but his only real friends are the ones with painted eyes and mouths. Until Jared comes and goes into the picture, and changes Jensen's look on life drastically.</p><p>Danneel accidently wishes on a star to be the person, the real person, that Jensen’s always wanted. Be careful what you wish for…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Favorite

**Author's Note:**

> I was organizing my porcelain dolls and nutcrackers when I got the prompt for this story XP I don't own anything, and I really hope you like!

Danneel’s first memory is waking up with something helping her stand up on a wooden shelf among many other porcelain dolls. There were many other toys all around the shop. Stuffed animals, Barbie dolls, toy cars, trains, little children’s books, all decorated in brightly colored bins and shelves.

Danneel got her name not because of the tag on her wrist. No, her tag said that she was Rosalind. The doll named Amelia read it to her when she read the other doll’s.

“Don’t worry,” Amelia whispered through her painted lips, “Your owner may name you differently. You don’t have to be like the others.”  
Rosalind smiled just a little more. Amelia was nice. Her friend was sadly bought the next day. They parted with smiles of course. The little girl named Anne decided not to go with the tag, and instead named her Isabelle. Danneel was very proud and happy for her friend.

A few months passed, and many other dolls near Danneel were bought, but never her. Until one day, when the sky was cloudy and clear droplets were falling outside, a man came into the store, went up to the owner—Mrs. Clark—who was at the counter and asked, “Where are your porcelain dolls?”

Mrs. Clark directed him to where Danneel and the others were. “Here they are. Are you interested in buying one for your daughter?”

“I don’t have a daughter,” the man with blue eyes smiled politely, “I’m buying one for my wife’s cousin.”

“Oh, how old is she?”

“He’s 30.”  
Mrs. Clark seemed surprised, but the blue eyed man didn’t even blink at how strange that sounded. “Yeah, he likes to collect these types of things. He makes them too. Scary good at it.”

Those blue eyes finally settled on Rosalind. They lit up and he pointed, “That one. Definitely that one.”

Mrs. Clark gently took Rosalind down. “Ah yes, Rosalind is a very popular one. Shall I gift wrap it?”

“Yes, please. I suck at wrapping.”  
Mrs. Clark gave him a disproving look behind his back for his language in a children’s toy store, but still wrapped Rosalind up and everything was black.

Rosalind listened as the man went out into the droplets. It was very loud, but soon relieved by a door opening and shutting. Rosalind was put on something, but she couldn’t feel it through the paper.

There was a noise, then the feeling of motion. They must be in one of those things that Mrs. Clark had called a ‘car’. Amazing! Rosalind had always wanted to ride in one! She just wished she could see!

Her thoughts were interrupted by the man’s voice. “Honey? Hey. Yeah, I got it. You sure he really likes these things and doesn’t use them for—” a voice interrupted him, and he chuckled. “I was kidding, Vicki! Yeah, I’m bringing it over right now. I’ll see you. Love you too.”  
There was a click, then nothing but a revving noise.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Rosalind was wrapped up so much that she couldn’t even hear anything for a very long time. She thought she would go insane with all of the silence. She even tried yelling, even though there was a chance she’d get discovered, but no one came to her aid.

When she couldn’t take anymore and was about to try and break through the paper, something picked her up and placed her into another pair of hands.

That was her next vital memory. When those hands tore open her paper and gave her a breath of fresh air, and a glimpse of beautiful jade green eyes with flecks of brown. Those eyes widened as they stared at Rosalind.

“Wow…” a whispered voice fell from the man’s full lips. “Thanks guys, she’s beautiful.”

The green eyed man used his gentle, calloused fingers to touch her face. Rosalind knew that this must be the blue eyed man’s wife’s cousin. What   
nice hands he had…she loved him already.

There was a noise outside, a loud BOOM that almost made Rosalind jump and run.

“Ok, I don’t think I can stay for cake and ice cream,” her new owner chuckled.

“We’ll take a rain check,” the blue eyed man’s voice replied. Her owner smiled.

“Yeah. I’ll see yah.”

Rosalind was carefully put back into her paper, and carried out into the booming and the droplets. But the paper and her owner’s warmth protected her.

As soon as they were in the ‘car’, her owner placed her on the seat next to him, and unfolded the paper again. His smile looked more genuine and loving this time.

“Time to take you home,” he murmured, and put a key into a slot to start the car. He drove through the droplets for what seemed like a very long time. Finally he pulled the car up a steep incline and put it into a dry place. He got out and opened the door on Rosalind’s side to take her out. He pressed her face against his chest.

Rosalind snuck in a breath of his scent. He smelled like fresh wood and…like home. His heart was strong and beating against her nose. How lucky she was to have such an owner! Oh, she adored him!

Her owner—she wished she knew his name—carried her down some steps and finally placed her on a table.

Rosalind couldn’t look around just yet. He had to leave the room first. But she had no problem looking at just him and his soulful eyes. He pulled up a chair and grabbed some scissors.

“First,” he said in a conversational tone, “I despise tag names.”

Snip!

Just like that, and Rosalind’s tag was thrown away. Her owner smiled, “I think I’ll call you Danneel instead. It’s unique and beautiful, just like you.”

Unique and beautiful? If she could, Danneel would blush! How kind he was!

“My name’s Jensen, by the way. Jensen Ackles.”

What a charming name—wait. Was he speaking to her?

“I hope you like it here. Down here’s where I work most of the time, unless I really want to finish something, I’ll take it up to my room. I keep everyone down here, unless I make them festive for a specific holiday. Like Holly over there,” he even turned her so she could look at a cute petite blonde doll with a bright colored dress decorated with easter eggs. Her wavy hair was topped with cute bunny ears, and her hand was curled around a little pink basket. “I made her for Easter. And Evelyn,” Danneel was turned again so she could look at a doll next to Holly. Evelyn was dressed in all black, with dark brown hair and sad dark eyes. “I made for my family’s death anniversary.”

His family’s death anniversary? How sad!

“Basically that’s my holiday shelf,” Jensen shrugged, “I put all the holidays in order. I got a special place upstairs that my extended family calls my Holiday Table. It sits right in the middle of my front hall. But you,” he picked her up and she was suddenly staring at his eyes again, which were considerably brighter along with his smile. “You, Danneel, are going to go on the shelves I reserve for the dolls and nutcrackers I receive for my birthday. Funny, there’s a perfect spot for you right on one of them.”

Jensen carried her over to a shelf and placed her on the end of a shelf. Danneel was at first afraid she’d fall over, when she observed with her peripheral vision that Jensen had barred off the ends of the shelfs from top to bottom with wodden rods. How considerate!

“The one next to you, her name’s Anna,” Jensen patted a doll to Danneel’s left. She had a pretty green dress with a rose, and a hat over her red curls. In her right hand, the one next to Danneel, she had an umbrella. “I got her last year. My cousin Vicki and her husband Misha love to provide me with a lot of dolls and nutcrackers alike. It’s very nice of them.” then he snapped his fingers, “Oh right! Wait a minute…”

Jensen went around the corner, where the nutcracker shelves were. And like the dolls, Jensen had what seemed to be hundreds and hundreds of them. But just like the dolls, there was plenty of room on the shelves. They stopped just a few inches from a white door behind the table that Danneel had just been on. Now that she had a clear view, she noticed the the table was strewn with different materials that she couldn’t name, and on a sheet of bright brown paper was a doll body that didn’t look like it was finished. Jensen really did make dolls and nuctrackers then.

The observations were interrupted as her owner came back with a white paper in his hand. He put a string through the hole in the top, and tied it on the bar that came up to Danneel’s ankles, and tied it there. “You need a number. I give one to all the dolls and nutcrackers I have.  
“Well, I’m gonna go to bed,” Jensen sighed. Then he caressed Danneel’s face one more time, and pressed his beautiful lips to her smooth forehead. His warmth and love seemed to seep right into her, and she found herself smiling just a little bit more.

“Good night,” he called to the general room, and went up the stairs. The entire room went dark, save for one small rectangular window that pooled moonlight into the one section of the wooden room. From what Danneel could see now and what she had earlier, the walls and floors were not painted anything. It made the room look bleak, but with all of the ‘residents’, it also made the room look alive.

So, since there was a corner, the steps in the center…then the room was shaped like a square version of that mouse that children always loved to play with in the store. What was his name…Mickey? Yes, Mickey Mouse. It looked like a squre version of Mickey Mouse! The stairs were in between his ears, blocked from view by more unpainted walls. Not the typical house walls that Danneel had seen on buildings that were being made across the street from the toy shop, but wooden ones. They looked like boards, really.

“Danneel?”

Danneel gasped, startled at the voice next to her.

“Oh, sorry, did I scare you?” the voice whispered.

“A little, but it’s alright,” Danneel whispered back, “Why are we whispering?”

“Because some others like to sleep at this time. I’m about to as well. I just wanted to shake your hand and welcome you like Jensen did.”  
They found each other’s hand, and giggled. They both learned the gestures from the shops they had been at before being taken to Jensen’s. The shopkeepers would always shake hands with someone they would be introduced to.

“You must be Anna, right?” Danneel whispered.

“That’s me! It’s very nice to meet you! How do you like it here? Settled in alright?”

Wow, how nice she was! Just like Isabelle before she was bought. “I love it here already. Jensen is so kind, and he has such nice hands!”

“Aren’t his eyes just gorgeous?”

“Oh, yes! A pretty shade a green with that hint of brown!”

Anna giggled, “If only I were a few feet taller and had real skin!”

Danneel put a hand to her mouth and giggled too. “Do all of the dolls here like him?”

“Of course! Jensen takes such good care of us, and our nutcracker friends, even if he doesn’t make some of us! This place was a Heaven-sent after the owners I’ve had.”

“You had previous owners?” Danneel honestly couldn’t tell.

“Yes. Vicki was a little skeptical when she bought me at an antique shop. She wasn’t really sure Jensen would like me. But the moment he opened me up, he assured Vicki that he loved me—loved me!—and that he’d fix me up just fine. And he did! He spent so much time redoing my dress and polishing me up! He even combed through my hair!”

“How sweet,” Danneel smiled widely. “Oh, wait. What’s an antique shop?”

“It’s a place where really old things go,” Anna explained, “My last owner, before I was sent to the shop, was the great-granddaughter of my first owner. I was what was called a ‘family heirloom’. But the great-granddaughter, like her mother, didn’t want me. So she…well, she put me in a box and forgot about me until a yard sale came up, and the antique dealer bought me.”

“You poor thing!”

“Yes. So you can see how an owner like Jensen is truly a blessing.”

Danneel nodded. Then, realizing Anna probably couldn’t see her, she whispered, “I can.”

There was a brief pause, before Danneel’s new friend yawned. “Well, I think I’ll get some sleep now. I’m glad you like it here, Danneel. Good night.”

“Good night, and thank you.”

“My pleasure.” and Anna fell silent with the rest of the room.

Danneel was not far behind in falling asleep as well. She sunk into slumber watching the moonlight through the small window.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Danneel and the others were woken up by the room suddenly filling with light that came from small bulbs in the ceiling.

“Mornin’ guys,” Jensen appeared through the steps. He went over to the nutcrackers and picked up an item Danneel recognized as a ‘clipboard’. “Ok, let’s see…” he went through the list, glancing up at the shelves of nutcrackers. His steps were slow as he went from behind the corner to the end of the wall, all the floor-to-ceiling shelves checked. Each shelf was spaced out by just a few inches, as if Jensen was expecting to reach a limit, only to have it breached time and again.

“Alright, you guys are good,” Jensen disappeared behind the corner once more, and came out with no clipboard. “Now for you,” he smiled at the dolls, going over and taking a clipboard Danneel hadn’t known was hanging there below the window. She hadn’t seen it in the dark the previous night.

Jensen took his time with the dolls just as much as he had with the nutcrackers. When he got to Danneel, he chuckled and unclipped the board in order to get a writing utensil Mrs. Clark used. It was called a…oh, what was it? Oh yes, a ‘pen’.

Jensen scribbled something down. “Da…nneel…there we go. Alright, you’re in there.”

Just as Danneel thought, the clipboards were lists of the names of each doll and nutcracker Jensen had. And by the looks of her owner’s table, there was about to be yet another new name written down today.

Jensen hung the clipboard back up, and strode over to the table, pulling the chair around to the other side. “Ok, let’s see what we have here…”  
He put on glasses, and with those gentle, gentle hands, carefully picked up the doll’s body and a few materials. Danneel watched in amazement as a brand new companion formed before her painted eyes.

Time was meaningless while all of the dolls and nutcrackers discreetly watched their beloved owner work. He hummed while he did. Danneel didn’t know what song, but she loved the sound of it when it was Jensen who hummed it.

Finally, Jensen stood up and went to the door behind the table, going into a separate room that was filled with boxes. Jensen didn’t go to the boxes. Instead, he went out of Danneel’s sight for a few seconds before coming out with a blue dress and hat in his hands.

“Here we are,” he took his seat again and carefully put the dress on the doll’s body. Then he took two other materials that Danneel finally saw   
as a needle and thread, and sewed the hat onto the doll’s head, tongue peeking out between his lips as he did so.

Then Jensen went back into the adjoined room, this time going into a box that had large black letters written on it. Danneel, learning to read from the mothers teaching their children with the books in the shop, made out the letters spelling STANDS. After taking a doll stand out, Jensen went to the other side of the room, rummaged through something, and came out with a pair of socks and shoes.

Once the doll had socks on and shoes tied, Jensen put her on the stand. “There we are. Finished!”

Anna’s voice whispered into Danneel’s ear as Jensen admired his work, “He’s been working on her structure for an especially long time. Fortifying it and making it a bit more durable. My guess is she’s gonna be a present for someone.”

“A present?” Danneel whispered back.

“Yeah, one of his cousins has a little girl that adores porcelain dolls. I think she’s gonna go to her. The date fits, too. Theresa’s birthday is just a few days after Jensen’s. And with your arrival, I’d say it would be in two sunsets.”

Jensen went back into the adjoining room, and came out with a box and a lid. The lid had a few little holes in it.

Anna must have sensed Danneel’s confusion about the holes, because she whispered as Jensen was packing the doll into the box, “Air holes to let light through. Jensen’s not too fond of the dark himself, so he figures he shouldn’t let anyone or anything experience it either.”

Danneel strove to keep her painted mouth the way it was originally painted and not curve upwards at how sweet that was. But soon she had to stop a frown from coming on as Jensen tied a tag around the doll’s wrist and wrote something on it.

“I thought he didn’t like tag names,” Danneel whispered.

“He does,” Anna whispered back, “This just further proves my guess correct. His cousin’s daughter is terrible with names, and always asks him to name the dolls he makes for her. I wonder what her name is…”

As if on cue, Jensen murmured, “I think she’s really gonna like you, Blake,” as he put the lid over the blonde doll. “I’ll be right back, I gotta get the wrapping paper.”

His footsteps faded, and a voice near Danneel and Anna giggled at normal volume, “Careful there Anna! You’re really risking it whispering right in front of him!”

“Oh, he wasn’t looking, Jessica!” Anna laughed, waving a hand in dissmissal, “I’m a good whisperer!”

“Girls, keep it down!” a nutcracker hissed from across the room, “He’ll hear you!”

“Shhh! He’s coming!” another nutcracker waved his sphere hands.

Everyone went still and silent as Jensen’s footsteps came down the stairs again. He had a large roll of wrapping paper in his hand. He made room on the table and rolled the paper so that there was enough for the box to be put in the middle.

Jensen carefully flipped the box over, and wrapped it up. Once it was taped and ready, he flipped it back over and looked around for something. “Ah, I forgot the card!” he smacked himself on the forehead. “Well, I guess I could just bring her upstairs, then stick the card on. Yeah.” he picked up the box and went back upstairs.

“He’s always in such a hurry,” another voice giggled once his footsteps were gone. Other dolls and nutcrackers, including Anna and Danneel, laughed too.

Danneel smiled brightly. This home was very nice…

A few minutes later, Jensen came back into the room and stood over the table. Anna breathed, “He’s thinking about another one already? Wow.”  
The red head shut up when Jensen’s green eyes settled on their shelf, more specifically, Danneel. His crossed arms uncrossed, and he went over to the doll. “Hm…” he tilted his head thoughtfully, tapping his chin.

Suddenly Danneel was picked up off the shelf, and put back on the table, this time facing the open door. Jensen went into the room again, and took out a sketchpad. “I have no idea how this got in here,” he mumbled, shutting the door, “Musta put it in here while I was making Blake.”  
He put the sketch pad down, and took another writing utensil that didn’t look like a pen. Danneel didn’t know what it was.

Jensen smiled at her, “This is actually the first time I’m using another doll for inspiration. But you’re…I like how you look, Danneel. I mean, I love how all of the dolls look, but…I dunno. You’re different, somehow.” he laughed, “I hope no one’s offended or anything!”

Danneel knew that even though he thought he was just talking to lifeless dolls and nutcrackers, they could never be offended by their owner in any possible way.

Well, maybe if he slammed one of us against the wall. But he’d never do that! Danneel thought, and remained still as Jensen gazed at her before starting to draw. He glanced up at her occasionally, and each time he did Danneel made a point to stand just a little straighter and model as best as she could for him. He didn’t notice any difference in her stance, thankfully.

Jensen continued to draw, and Danneel thought on what he said earlier. She was the first inspiration he took from his shelves. She couldn’t help but feel extremely flattered. Oh, she just loved him so much! If only she could compliment him in return, but he’d probably faint from shock.

Jensen kept drawing, until something beeped on his person. Danneel thought that something was wrong with him, until he pulled out a device that Mrs. Clark had used in the shop. She had pulled it out for a distraught teenager. “You can use my phone, honey,” she’d said.

So it was a phone? What delightful yet strange names humans had for things!

Jensen flipped the ‘phone’ open and looked at it. His shoulders slumped. “Aw man,” he groaned, “It’s my boss. Sorry Danneel, but I’m gonna have to finish this later. Hope you don’t mind.”

Never, Danneel thought, wishing she could say that out loud.

Jensen carefully put her back on the shelf and dashed up the stairs, grumbling about how terrible his boss was, making him work on a Sunday. Once he was gone, the entire room looked at Danneel. Or rather, those who could. Some shelves blocked the view.

“W-what?” the doll asked innocently.

“It’s just…well, it’s like Jensen said!” Anna answered in astonishment, “He’s never taken inspiration from another one of his dolls! He likes us all to be unique! To make him want to copy aspects of you into another…it’s just surprising.”

“I-I’m sorry,” Danneel tried to apologize, but a nutcracker interrupted her.

“No, it’s nothing to be sorry for,” he couldn’t exactly smile, but his eyes were expressive enough. Danneel almost laughed when he spoke, since his mouth moved strangely and there was a clack, clack with his words when his mouth closed and opened. “Just surprising.”

“It means that Jensen really likes you,” Anna had proverbial stars in her eyes as she clasped her porcelain hands, “It means you’re super special! I mean, he loves us all equally, but…”

“Oh Anna, just say it!” the voice from earlier, Jessica, chimed in, “We all know what you’re going for!”

“What?” Danneel asked.

“It means you’re his new favorite! And how fast that was, too!” Anna burst out. She didn’t seem at all put out by that. In fact, instead of anger and jealousy, everyone seemed to be incredulous and excited.

Danneel put a hand over her chest. “Favorite? Me? But so many of you are much more beautiful than I!”

“Aw, how nice of you,” a voice from directly below Danneel’s feet, “But obviously Jensen sees something in you. I’d say you shouldn’t doubt yourself. He’s got a great eye for these things.”

“Well…o-ok.”

Favorite…wow!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jensen came back just as the window light turned darker. He took Danneel off the shelf again and resumed his former position.

Favorite. The word chimed through Danneel’s porcelain head. Favorite.

Jensen sketched and sketched for she didn’t know how long, but Danneel didn’t care. She just patiently watched him, and gladly met his eyes when he looked at her. She could look at her owner forever and ever…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jensen kept doing the same thing with the sketch pad and Danneel. But it seemed that every time he completed a beautiful drawing of a doll, it just wasn’t enough. Soon a pile of crumpled paper balls had settled near the table.

Frustrated, Jensen stared at Danneel with such intensity that she thought she might just squirm. Was he mad at her? But wasn’t she his favorite?  
“What part of you do I want to capture, Danneel?” Jensen finally sighed, deflating. He didn’t look frustrated, just…sad. “Can you tell me?”

Danneel wanted so badly to answer, to bring a smile back on her dear owner’s face. Of course she couldn’t. How awful being a doll could be! To love her owner so much, but to never be able to show it properly!

All of her thoughts skidded to an abrupt halt as his fingers caressed her face. “I mean…” he sighed again. “What is it that makes you so much more beautiful than the rest?”

Jensen seemed to decide that he couldn’t discern the answers he wanted, so he stood up. “Alright, well, it’s getting late. Would you mind just waiting there, Danneel? That way I can start right away.” he kissed her forehead and told the rest good night.

His footsteps faded, and instead of silence, the room erupted into murmurs. Meanwhile, Danneel touched her face.

'What is it that makes you so much more beautiful than the rest?'

'What part of you do I want to capture?'

She giggled to herself, ignoring the voices behind her. If possible, she grew to love her owner even more.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jensen went upstairs to his bedroom, and got ready for bed. The image of his doll Danneel was still very fresh in his mind. He’d only gotten her just yesterday, and yet she was already his absolute favorite, when he thought he’d never actually have an individual one out of all his dolls and nutcrackers.

What would she look like, he wondered, if she was a real person?

The answer was simple: she’s look like an angel.

Jensen clutched the sink, his toothbrush pausing in his mouth as he pictured the stunning woman that his doll could be. He’d never thought about his dolls having real skin, but with Danneel he couldn’t help it.

In his mind, he saw a lovely woman with honey brown eyes, mid-length wavy hair, perfect curves, and soft hands. Her face would be perfectly proportionate, delicate like the rest of her frame, yet strong and kind. And her lips…they would be rosy and feather soft, caressing when they kissed.

Jensen couldn’t believe he was actually getting aroused by the image his mind created for him. Danneel was still just a doll! He wasn’t some sicko that jerked off to his dolls, despite whatever Misha Collins said!

Forcing himself to stop thinking, he finished with his nightly routine and collapsed into bed. He had to work tomorrow. There wasn’t any time for weird late night fantasies.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next day, Jensen decided that he needed to get out more. If he thought about like that, if he staunched it, then he was very socially deprived.

So, at work—Jensen was a Director of Sales at the Sandover Building—he finally acted on his co-worker Jared Padalecki’s painfully obvious interest in him. Jared was a big guy, and undoubtedly hot. But he was also very sincere and sweet. Jensen always got along very well with him.

At lunch break, he and Jared went out for a burger at a local restaurant. Jared showed Jensen just what he had been missing all this time in the world outside of his studio. His socially awkwardness was easily taken in stride, and the conversation was flowing and so simple. The man didn’t even mind when Jensen told him that he had a thing for making porcelain dolls and nutcrackers. In fact, Jared seemed very interested, and asked if he could see the studio sometime. By that request, they set up a date for Friday.

Back at the office, Jensen plopped back into his chair, a blush covering his cheeks. Life suddenly got a lot more interesting.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jensen was different, and everyone could tell. Many of the nutcrackers and dolls commented about it to their neighbor, each conversation going basically like this:

“Haven’t you noticed that Jensen’s a little different?”

“Yeah, he keeps blushing and stuff! It’s really weird!”

“Do you think maybe he’s…?”

“What? In love? Our Jensen? I’ve never heard of him getting involved with someone like that!”

Not even Jensen’s very first nutcrackers, Sam and Dean, could say that Jensen had ever really been in love or remotely liked someone like that. So if Jensen really was seeing someone, then that person was not only very lucky but special, too.

All of this talk made Danneel—who had been put back on the shelf instead of modeling again—depressed instead of excited and curious. How could her precious owner feel like that for someone else, when he had her? Was she not good enough for him?

Anna saw the look on her face, and put a hand on her shoulder. “Danneel, remember…we’re just dolls. All we can do for Jensen is be there when everyone else isn’t.”

It was a sad truth that Danneel didn’t want to be real, but was. Instead of answering her friend, she just stared at the table.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A few sunsets later, Jensen came down after a startling absence. Everyone thought that something had happened, his footsteps occasionally treading above them their only reassurance. They all felt like cheering and shouting when he finally showed himself.

But that feeling disappeared in an instant when everyone saw that Jensen was not alone. Instead, a man was with him. A very tall man, with a square jaw, long brown hair, hazel eyes and sideburns. He was very muscular, and Danneel knew that her companions were staring at his muscled arms. The stranger was wearing a nice shirt with a long black jacket, jeans, and boots.

“Whoa,” he murmured as he looked at all of the nutcrackers and dolls on the shelves, “Jen, this is amazing!”

Jensen blushed deeply, “Really? You like it?”

The stranger nodded eagerly. “Did you make them all?”

“No. Those there,” Jensen pointed to a few shelves that from their point of view had signs above them that labeled the dolls and nutcrackers in   
turn. “I made those. The other ones I got from people either on my birthday or on a holiday.”

“This is so cool,” the stranger chuckled disbelievingly, “I have never seen such a big collection.”

Jensen smiled a special smile that Danneel had never seen before. She yearned for that smile to be directed at her!

“So, which one’s this ‘favorite’ you were talking about?” the stranger asked. Danneel stifled a gasp.

“Oh, she’s over here,” Jensen went over and picked Danneel up. After his absence, his warmth was all the more comfortable. “Her name’s Danneel.”

“Wow, she’s really beautiful,” the stranger smiled, dimples showing. “May I?”

Jensen seemed a little surprised that he asked. “Oh, yeah, sure.”

The stranger reached out and touched Danneel with much smoother fingers than Jensen had. They were unfamiliar and weird, but blessedly soft and very warm too.

“I’ve been…I’ve been wanting to put something of her on a different doll, but…I actually don’t know what it is that I want to capture,” Jensen spoke at length. Danneel admitted that the stranger had the grace to be interested in what her owner had to say. Good, because everything Jensen said was worth listening to.

“Hm…” the stranger’s hazel eyes narrowed on Danneel for a few moments, until he spoke again. “Maybe it’s not just one part.”

“What?”

“Well, look at her, she’s really stunning for a doll. If I wanted to capture a few aspects of her, I’d probably choose more than one part.”  
“What parts would you choose?” Jensen asked.

“Well, the eyes for starters. Her eyes are like a honey brown. Maybe alter that a little bit. And her hair…it’s not the color that I’d copy, but the wavy style it’s in. And her lips…”

Danneel was aware that the stranger’s eyes were now not on her anymore, but her owner. “Her lips are full and moist. I wouldn’t change that part.”  
Danneel stared at him, trying to keep her face as it was originally made. That was strange for a man to say about a doll’s lips.

She realized when she was shifted to Jensen’s one arm that it wasn’t her the stranger was talking about when he was describing the lips. It was her owner’s. She knew because she was in clear view of the lip lock Jensen shared with the man.

“Mm…” Jensen clutched the man’s shirt, clearly enjoying their lip contact. This was a way to show affection, apparently.

The stranger pulled away an inch. “I should go,” he whispered, “Otherwise this is gonna get really outta hand, really fast.”

Jensen nodded dazedly, and placed Danneel on the table. “Yeah, I’ll uh, I’ll show you out.”

“’Kay.”

They went upstairs. Everyone stood in shocked silence at what had just happened. Jensen really had been seeing someone! Wow!

Before they could actually get over this fact and talk to each other about it in raving tones, their owner came back downstairs and immediately went to his sketch pad. “That was Jared, by the way,” he told Danneel, “He’s probably the only one besides my cousin’s kid who doesn’t think a 31 year old man collecting and making not only nutcrackers but dolls too isn’t weird.”

He sketched out a new doll on the paper, and this time didn’t throw it away. He showed it to Danneel. “I think Jared was right. This one’s a keeper. I’m gonna call her Genevieve.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jared came to the studio a lot, sometimes just to watch Jensen work on Genevieve, other times to admire the collection and strike up conversations whenever Jensen took a break. Normally Jensen never took a break, but Jared made sure he did so he actually ate something once in a while.

Many sunsets passed with Jared constantly there. Everyone else had gotten used to him, but Danneel never would. she could do nothing to stop Jensen from spending so much time with this Jared. She sorely wished she could, but she knew that if she tried to do anything, she would most likely drive Jensen away from the room for good.

“Try and let it go,” Anna whispered one day when both Jared and Jensen weren’t looking. But Danneel just couldn’t. Her only comfort was that Jensen was talking about her yet again.

However, Jared stopped him. “You talk about her so much, I’m almost jealous.”

Jensen nodded very seriously, making sure Genevieve’s hair was just right before gluing it on. “You should. I definitely love her more than you, pretty boy.”

Danneel felt a rush of joy, before she caught on that it was just a joke. How cruel of her owner! Where was that kind man that she knew from before?!

“You wound me!” Jared gasped. Then they laughed together. “But seriously. She really is your favorite doll.”

Jared looked at Danneel. Jensen stood up and walked over to her shelf too. “Yeah, she is.”

Ha! Take THAT Jared!

“Well,” Jared’s arms wound around Jensen’s torso, deflating Danneel’s victory, “Who’s your favorite person, besides your late mother?”

Jensen smiled wryly at the mention of his dead mother—the poor thing—and answered, “Jesus Christ.”

“Ok, bad wording. I meant, your favorite person, who is alive?”

“Oh. Hm…” Jensen seemed to be thinking hard, “That hot chick across the street.”

Jared rolled his eyes, “Hilarious,” and gave Jensen a deep kiss. Yes, Danneel found out what that lip contact was called. She’d found out from Valerie, Jensen’s Valentine doll. True that she was on another shelf, but Danneel’s question had reached her by a form of Whisper Down the Shelf. Jensen always made sure his dolls knew as much about their holiday that he did.

Danneel’s reminiscing was interrupted by Jensen gasping. Jared had turned him around so they were pressed together. The terrible man had one hand on Jensen’s hip, the other caressing his face. The reason Jensen had gasped was pretty obvious. Danneel knew that if the porcelain dolls could talk in front of them, she knew they’d all be squealing at the battling of tongues going on between the two. Anna nudged her, further proving her point.

The hand on Jensen’s hip went into his jeans. Danneel didn’t know why, but Jensen really seemed to like that, because he fell even more into Jared’s hold, making pleased noises.

Jared parted their lips and whispered loud enough for Danneel to hear, “We should sit you down, Jen.”

Jensen could only manage a shaky nod. Danneel wanted to lunge at Jared’s face as her owner was directed to his chair. How dare he make Jensen feel like he did! He had no right!

Really, he did have a right because Jensen was letting him, but Danneel refused to acknowledge that. Her view was blocked by Jared’s head, so all she knew was Jared had pulled Jensen’s jeans down just enough, and started doing something.

“What is he doing?” Danneel whispered to Anna.

“I have no idea,” her friend shrugged very discreetly, “It sounds like he’s…sucking on something.”

It did sound like that. And whatever he was sucking on, Jensen looked like he was really loving it. He tangled his fingers into Jared’s hair and made a whimpering noise. “J-Jay…”

Jared hummed into whatever he was sucking, and Jensen’s eyes fluttered shut. The expression of pure bliss her owner had was undeniably gorgeous. Danneel couldn’t say that it wasn’t. But the fact that it was Jared who was making him feel that way was just unforgivable.

Jensen reached out and clutched the table beside him, giving another loud noise. His eyes opened a fraction, those jade eyes that were glazed over and dim, and gazed around the room. “F-feels like they’re actually watchin’,” he whispered, making the dolls and nutcrackers tense (if that were at all possible, since they were made of wood and porcelain) in fear.

Jared removed his mouth, but his body blocked the view of what he had been sucking on. He gripped whatever it was with one hand, the other pulling Jensen’s face to his. “Let ‘em,” Jared murmured, a bit dazed himself, “They’re lucky to even get a glimpse of how beautiful you are.”

Jensen grabbed his face and pulled him into another kiss. Jared moved his hand to his own jeans, and pulled something square shape out of his pocket.

“J-Jay, I…I’m gonna…” Jensen choked through his words, clearly not coherent enough to form a proper sentence. What was Jared doing to him, that vile man?! Oh, if only Danneel could see!

“Not yet,” Jared breathed, “Jen, not yet. Wait just a minute…”

Jensen made a growling noise. “Arrrgh, you twisted son of a bitch, don’t tell me to do that!”

Jared chuckled breathlessly, and moved his mouth back to do what he had been doing earlier. Whatever the heck that was. There was a tearing noise, some fumbling. Jared pulling away, putting something on her owner. What was he doing now?! Ugh, JARED MOVE OVER!

“Don’t want you to make a mess in your studio,” Jared chuckled.

“Oh, how considerate,” Jensen grunted, his legs spreading wider—if at all possible—and throwing his head back. “Ohhh…”

Later on, the nutcrackers would report that Jared licked his lips, staring at Jensen intensely. “You can come now, Jensen. Do it for me, baby.”

Come? But Jensen was already there. Apparently though, that meant something different, because after a mantra of whimpering “yes, yes, yes”,   
Jensen cried out Jared’s name into the intruder’s hair, his entire body shuddering and shivering violently, eyes squeezed tightly shut. After the shout, they both stayed in that position without doing anything; Jared kneeling, Jensen sitting, both panting heavily.

“I…I can’t remember the last time I did that,” Jensen finally spoke.

“Yeah, I could tell,” Jared kissed his cheek, “You had a lot built up.”

Jensen hummed, still in a little bit of a daze. At least he could talk normally again. Danneel hoped that Jared would never be the one to put that contented look on her owner’s face again.

“Mm, what about you?”

Jared pulled back, “What do you mean?”

Jensen looked down at Jared’s hips, then back up, eyebrows lifting. Danneel wished she understood the meaning of that. Jared did, though. He nodded eagerly, and took that thing he put on Jensen away. It was a weird thing that Danneel didn’t get a full look at before it was in the trash next to the table. (Jensen had put one down there after throwing all those crumpled balls of paper to the floor when Danneel had first modeled for him.)

Jensen leaned in and whispered something into Jared’s ear, adjusting himself so that when he abandoned the chair for kneeling on the floor too, his jeans were zipped up and where they were supposed to be.

Jared backed up until he wasn’t in Danneel’s line of sight anymore. There was more zipping, fumbling and rustling, before he was moaning too. “Jensen…Jensen…!” that was basically all he said, despite begging for more of whatever Jensen was doing.

More unwrapping and crinkling, more kissing noises. There was no cry of Jensen’s name, and if there was, it was muffled. By what, Danneel didn’t know.

Danneel seriously wanted to hop off the shelf and smack Jared right across the face. He didn't deserve to be Jensen's favorite ANYTHING.


	2. Shake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so, here's chapter 2! I, once again, own nothing!
> 
>  
> 
> Oh, and uh...please don't hate me after this chapter? I <3 him, I swear!!!!!!

After *that*, Jensen and Jared got even closer than ever before, and they kept doing whatever they had been before even more in the studio. It really made Danneel mad.

Genevieve was completed. She was very beautiful, with dark brown eyes and long wavy black hair and a dress that had a hazel color that Danneel knew was the color of Jared’s eyes. The sight of her made Jared smile. However, the poor doll didn’t know why Danneel always gave her the stink eye.

Danneel’s time at Jensen’s home reached what was called one year. For the dolls and nutcrackers it was just a whole bunch of sunsets. But she knew it had been a year when Jared came down—he just came and went as he pleased now, much to Danneel’s chagrin—holding up a bag. “Happy birthday, Jen.”

Jensen’s eyes widened. “Jared, you didn’t have to get me anything!”

“As the boyfriend, yes I do,” Jared smiled with his dimples, placing the bag on Jensen’s table, where a nutcracker was being assembled.

Jensen peeked inside, and gasped, a huge blush coating his cheeks. “J-J-Jay…i-is that what I think it is…?”

Jared chuckled darkly, “Wanna try it?”

“R-right now?!”

“Why not? We have nowhere to be.”

Jared took Jensen’s hand and dragged him to their usual spot on the wall…out of Danneel’s sight again. Jared grabbed the bag. There was a thump of Jared’s knees undoubtedly hitting the floor.

“I-I’ve never used one of these things before…”

Never used what? Oh, not again! Danneel really didn’t like being so ignorant!

“Don’t worry baby, you’ll love it. Just relax, I got you.”

A kissing noise, fumbling and rustling. Unwrapping and crinkling. Danneel knew the sounds, but she couldn’t put actions to them, or their purpose. All she knew was that Jared liked to make Jensen shout his name.

But then, a new sound came to Danneel’s attention. After some of Jensen moaning and sighing like usual, there was a…what was it exactly? It was a sort of whirring sound, kind of like Jensen’s phone when he got a text message, only it didn’t stop at just one whir.

Suddenly all of the sounds Jensen had been making were magnified. But with every sound had Jared’s name in it, or something about how he wanted more, or how good ‘it’ felt. What was the ‘it’?!

Danneel wanted to turn and look, but she knew that if Jensen just so happened to turn his head…aaaaggghhh!!!!

Stupid Jared with his stupid whatever-it-was.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It had been official for a very long time: Jared was Danneel’s rival. Even though Jared was human and could do a lot more things, and always caring for Jensen, Danneel felt like it should be *her* who gives Jensen those feelings. She didn’t like it when Jared was the one who had the privilege to do so.

But even if Jared was Danneel’s rival, it didn’t mean that she wished anything truly bad to happen to him. She just wanted Jared to back off from her owner and stop making him scream “JARED!” over and over again.

Not this. She didn’t wish *this* to happen.

*This* started as Jensen stumbling down into the studio, shocked tears falling down his face. There was something red on his face, but it wasn’t like Valerie’s dress’s Valentine hearts. Danneel didn’t like the sight of it.

Danneel at first hadn’t known what *this* was, she was just very worried for her owner. Thankfully she got a chance to comfort him, because she, Sam, and Dean were all taken off their shelves and were clutched by Jensen tightly as he whimpered in the corner like a little boy.

“Jared…” he choked, “Shit!”

Danneel knew what he was doing. Dolls had done it at the store she used to live at. It seemed like such a long time ago, now that she thought about it. It had been over a year, hadn’t it?

Anyway, what Jensen was doing was a way to express sadness, called crying. Danneel was made of porcelain, so she couldn’t cry, but if she could she would have at the look of pure loss and emptiness as Jensen cried Jared’s name, but not in the way he usually did, and Jared wasn’t even there.

Speaking of Jared not being there, Jared wasn’t in the studio for many sunsets. All the while, Jensen walked around like he was one of the nutcrackers on the shelves during the day: vacant. His once sparkling jade eyes were now a dull green, and everything he did was slow. Whenever he looked at that spot where he and Jared would do their unknown activities, absolute pain took over the wooden expression. This happened every time he looked at Genevieve, too. Poor Genevieve, like with Danneel’s glares, had no idea why she caused her dear owner such pain. She was a sweet, little doll who was nothing but nice.

Finally, Danneel found out what *this* was. She found out when Jensen got what was named a ‘call’ on his ‘phone’.

“Mrs. Padalecki, hey,” Jensen murmured in a dazed voice that Danneel didn’t like. “Thanks for calling back. I, uh…I-I wanted to know when the funeral was.”

Funeral? What was that? And, Mrs. Padalecki? Wasn’t Padalecki…Jared’s last name?

“The 14th? Ok…thanks.” Jensen said goodbye and hung up. He started crying all over again, and rushed up the stairs with a stream of choice words spilling from his mouth.

As soon as he was gone, everyone erupted into murmurs of sympathy, and some made the motions of crying, especially those who liked Jared. Anna was one of the latter, once Jessica told her something.

“What happened?” Danneel asked.

Anna gasped, “Jared’s dead!”

“Dead? What does that mean?”

Anna shook her head, “It’s when you go to sleep…and you never wake up again. You don’t come back. A funeral is when a dead person is buried underground.”

Danneel put a hand over her painted lips. Jared was never coming back? Was that why Jensen was in so much pain?

Yes, she had sworn rivalry on Jared. But she had never wanted *this* to happen. Because *this* had shaken her owner to the point where he was only a shadow of what he used to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	3. Waking Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So, hiatus notice!! After this chapter, I have to study for midterms and what have you. So I will not be able to write for this story for a while :( sorry!
> 
> But please enjoy this chapter! Sorry it's a bit shorter! I own nothing!

Jensen took Evelyn upstairs, and even after many a sunset, neither she nor Jensen himself had come back downstairs.

Danneel went through the motions of crying as well, because she missed her owner, and she felt so sorry for both him and Jared for what had happened. Oh, how she wished to have real skin! Then she could talk to Jensen and tell him that it was ok!

She voice this wish when everyone was asleep that night. “Oh, Jensen…I wish I could have real skin. I could comfort you, and kiss you, and hold you like Jared did.”

Just as she whispered this, a star was falling in the sky.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Danneel woke up to sunshine streaming through the window, and the ceiling above her. How had she fallen off the shelf without breaking?

And why did she feel…different? There was this beating inside of her chest, and she felt like she *had* to breathe instead of it just being optional.

Sitting up, she looked around. Everything was smaller! She could see all the dolls and nutcrackers perfectly! She could stand up and look DOWN at the table!

“W-what…?” she lifted her hands. They didn’t look like porcelain. Instead, they…they looked like…they felt like…

“Skin!” Danneel gasped, “I have skin!”

Footsteps sounded above her. Jensen! Oh, she could talk to him now! This was AMAZING!!

“Who’s there?” her owner’s sharp voice called.

“Jensen!” Danneel squealed, seeing him at the top of the steps.

But instead of reacting like she wanted, Jensen’s eyes narrowed. “Who are you?”

Danneel was hurt. “Don’t you recognize me?”

“What do you mean?” Jensen cautiously stepped down the stairs. At least he was coming downstairs and speaking more than a few words.

Danneel lifted up her skirts. She still had on her dress, only it was a lot larger. She spun around in it. “You don’t remember this dress?”

Jensen tensed, a look of recognition and horror flashing on his face. “W-wait a minute…” he took a step back.

Danneel clasped her hands, “This is so exciting! I can finally talk to you!”

Jensen instantly looked at her old place on the shelf. Finding it empty, his face drained of what little color it had after Jared’s death. He slowly turned to face her again. “You can’t be…”

“Yes! It’s me, Danneel!”

“T-this must be some kind of joke. Dolls don’t come to life. Did Misha put you up to this?”

“Misha…?” Danneel thought about Misha. “Oh, you mean that blue eyed man who came into the store and bought me for you?”

Jensen took that the wrong way it seemed, because he groaned and face-palmed, “I knew it! Oh, he is SO dead!”

“Dead?! Oh, no! Please, don’t make him dead!” Danneel reached out and clasped Jensen’s warm hands. The very hands that caressed her face! She finally got to hold them! “I don’t want him to be like Jared!”

Jensen’s breath shuddered. “H-how do you know about that?”

Danneel tilted her head. “Well, I’ve been on that shelf, wondering what you two have been doing against that wall. I couldn’t see when you were over there with him. You made Genevieve’s dress his eye color, didn’t you? Oh!” she gasped, looking down at Jensen’s jeans. “I finally get to see what he’s been sucking on!”

“W-WHAT?!” Jensen shouted as she went for his jeans. “Hey! No! Stop it!” he grabbed her hands. “Look, lady! I don’t know how much Misha told you, or how much he paid you, but I will seriously pay you double if you get OUT of this house! How did you even get in here?!”

“You carried me in over a year ago,” Danneel was so dreadfully confused. Why wasn’t he happy that she finally had skin? “There were droplets and booming outside. You unwrapped me, and took me down here. You kissed me on the forehead and tied a slip of paper in front of my feet! You touched my face! You called me your favorite!”

Jensen shook his head, “No, no, I did all that to a *doll*!”

“Exactly! And now I have skin! Why aren’t you excited about this, Jensen?”

“Because some crazy lady claiming to be my doll is in the middle of my house! You act as if this is NORMAL!”

“Well, yes, it is very strange,” Danneel admitted, “I’m still wondering how it’s possible. But…I’m very happy, Jensen. You’ve been complimenting   
me and loving me for such a long time now, and finally I get to do the same for you! Even that one time when you joked about loving me more than Jared, but I forgive you!” she squeezed his hands, “Jensen, I love you! I’ve adored you ever since you unwrapped me on your birthday!”

Jensen’s breathing had sped up. “I-I’m going crazy. T-this is not…J-Jared’s…his…i-it musta done somethin’ to me…” he let go of Danneel’s hands and collapsed onto the stairs, “This ain’t possible!”

“I know it shouldn’t be, but here I am!” Danneel knelt down and put her hands on Jensen’s knees. “Fine, if you don’t believe me, then ask me a question! Any question you want!”

Jensen still looked disbelieving, ready to bolt. However, he swallowed and murmured, “…if you’re Danneel, then…what was I trying to capture from you to put on Genevieve?”

Danneel giggled, “That’s a trick question! You didn’t know! You asked me what it was, but of course I couldn’t answer. Jared finally suggested that you could try and capture multiple parts instead of just one. But then he started talking about *your* lips instead of mine, and kissed you. That was the first time he came over, I think.”

Jensen’s mouth dropped. He reached over and pinched himself. Danneel didn’t know why he would harm himself like that. Or was it harmful to skin?  
She tried it, just to be sure. “Ouch!” she shouted. Rubbing her arm, she demanded of her owner, “Why would you do that? It hurts!”

“I’m not dreaming,” Jensen murmured, “Oh shit, I’m not dreaming! Y-you actually…Danneel?!”

Danneel smiled brightly, “Do you believe me now?”

Jensen just fell backwards. Danneel’s eyes widened. “J-Jensen?!”

He’d passed out. Huh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I'll be back soon!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Let me know what you think please!


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